So many muslims think that every muslim child is born into a perfect family…or at least a decent family—a family in which its members fear allah, are kind and nice, etc. Sadly, that is not the case, at all.
So many children in the Ummah have to deal with things like mean parents, mean siblings, etc. And the muslim community around the kid have no clue–they think that every (muslim) family is a good family/are following islam, when it comes to dealing with the other members. But the reality is: there are lots of parents and siblings out there who are not good people. They’re abusive, even.
And when the child talks to people about his/her problems (for example, a mean mom), s/he is told things like “hush—paradise is under the feet of the mother…” It’s almost become a taboo (in Islamic cultures) to think that you have a bad mom. But the people who the child is talking to, in reality, have no idea what the situation of the kid is. The reality (in this case) is; some kids actually have emotionally abusive moms. (If this idea is hard to believe, put it in this way: Every mom in the Ummah today is following what it means to be a mom, in Islam? Every mom is good and kind? … (ask yourself these questions).
Every mom loves her child, no doubt (except moms with psychological challenges…which exist, as well), but I’m talking about moms who are just cold, mean, etc. Obviously, these moms aren’t following Islam. But it doesn’t make a difference to the child why its mom is acting meanly to her. The kid just wants things to be different. (So, the kid could care less that the reason her mom is acting mean to her is because she’s not following islam, or because x,y,z. She (the child) just wants to have a happy home/a nice mom.)
The child who has to deal with unkind (or mean, or abusive) family members is going through a great test, of course, which leads to lots of ajar, and the pleasure of Allah s.w.t. if the test is taken well. (And, allah only tests people based on what they can tolerate, of course…this fact is important…).
This also goes for a husband or wife who has to deal with a mean spouse, a sibling who has to deal with a mean sister/brother, and parents who have to deal with a troublesome kid (of course)…
I think so many people in the Ummah think that every muslim family has a kind, loving and gentle mom, a strong-Muslim (strong faith) dad, obedient kids, etc. I mean, that’s the ideal…But the truth is that so many families do not have Islamic etiquette, Islamic morals, etc,…the situation is not an Islamic household. Not in the least degree. The family that I described is how family members are supposed to be–I think that’s why so many people slip up and assume that every family is like that (because it’s the Islamic ideal…it’s what we’re taught in weekend school at the masjid, it’s what we hear our scholars saying–it’s what we read in the Qur’an and Sunnah). But, but, but…a deep-cutting reality is; the rules of Islam and the commandments of Allah s.w.t. do not have precedence, in the lives of Muslims. Subhan Allah. You’d think that Muslims all embrace Allah’s word and the Sunnah of prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h….but a great deal of them completely ignore it. Like I said, subhan Allah. (Of course, a few people try their utmost to follow the Qur’an and the Sunnah, because they truly believe in Allah and in Islam…But others unfortunately throw Islam out the window (decency, humaneness, and all.)
May allah s.w.t. help us.
As salam alaikum, thank you for reading this.