this world is so…not for me. I feel so alien, here. It’s not that i don’t belong here, I think…it’s that this place doesn’t suit me.

Why? Well, the main thing, I think, is that I have only known a handful of people who I think are genuinely good people (with flaws and faults, yes, but their character far outshines their shortcomings). The rest of the people that I’ve met or that I know (in all honesty) are not (by my own standards, admittedly) the kinds of people I would want to have, in my life (as close companions). Not that they are the worst of the worst…but they are not good people. I feel kind of bad for saying this…but it’s how I feel.
😦

if I wasn’t a muslim, I would be very despondent at the realization that the world isn’t for me. But since I have and understand a little bit of Islam, I feel so blessed with this feeling.

This is because in islam, this earthly existence is not supposed to be loved dearly by you and I (actually, from what I understand, Islam teaches that the world is only a temporary camp–a pit stop, and should be treated as such. Who in their right minds would come to love and attach themselves to a pit stop? Especially one that s(he) might leave at any moment?…)
The prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, once said: “What have I to do with this world? In regards to this world, I am like a rider who shades himself under a tree, and then goes on his way” (hadith). In another occasion, the prophet took hold of one of his young companions by the shoulders, and gave him a golden piece of advice: “Be in this world as though you were a stranger….rather, a wayfarer” (hadith).
The reality is that we are sojourners…travelers; we are on a journey to Jannah (plug?) 🙂 This life is not our real home. our real home is Jannah…heaven. I think that is why I feel so alien, in the dunya (and why so many other people feel weird about it, too)-it’s not our real home. We are removed from our real home. ***But we will get there, someday, insha Allah. We just have to keep walking, there…keep striving towards it. And Allah will help us out more than we even deserve, in this journey; Allah s.w.t. said: “…If My servant reaches to me a hand’s span, I shall reach to him an arm’s length. And if he reaches to me an arm’s length, I shall reach to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I shall rush to him with great speed” (hadith qudsi).* 😢 ❤ Allah is most Kind… ❤

~

*The entireity of the hadith is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself. If he makes mention of me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it (i.e., to the angels.) If My servant reaches to me a hand's span, I shall reach to him an arm's length. And if he reaches to me an arm's length, I shall reach to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I shall rush to him with great speed"
(hadith qudsi).

as salam alaikum wa rahmat allahi wa barakatu..

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